F—k the FCC

Contradictory? Unconstitutional? Arbitrary? Hey, it’s the Federal Communications Commission baby. The FCC oversees all types of broadcasting, from TV to microwaves and began their TV meddling with Charles Jenkins who got the first U.S. TV license in 1928 and aired the first TV commercial in 1930, “for which he was promptly fined by the Federal …

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Tea for tumidity

Is there any drink strong enough to sober a species enamored of destruction and disdainful of its own home? What can be done with a creature who'd rather bomb cities than build bridges, who'd prefer Cold War over peace talks, whose fascist tongues flick platitudes of freedom and equality? If we were half as moral …

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Writer platform looking like a gallows

I'm staging an intervention and I need your help. It's not for a heroin addict or a pill popper. We won't be drying out any alcoholics or de-icing a meth head. The party that needs intervening in this case is a rootin-tootin', platform-building, social media whoring, blogging, bragging, taco-eating, bourbon-swilling, essay-writing need-machine—me. I know what you're thinking, …

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Chuck Wendig was right about most self-published books

OK, I've had about five years to think about this, and I've decided that Chuck Wendig was right. You might be thinking "who gives a shit?" but hear me out. Way back in 2012, a frustrated journalist working on a couple of humor essay collections stumbled across a blog post entitled: "Why your self-published book …

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