Hillary Clinton battle rap versus Donald J. Trump

I wrote this battle rap today for Hillary Clinton to use at the first 2016 U.S. Presidential General Election debate with Donald J. Trump. It’s written to the beat of this classic tune by Mobb Deep:

Donald says he gonna tell the truth about me

late-night Twitter rants, says I’m Crooked Hillary

Listin off skeletons in my political closet

telephone tough guys always love to talk shit

OK, you wanna speak the real truth

Donald so confused he could mystify Dr. Ruth

Typical GOP obsessed with my history

Lemme break down on the bitch known as HRC

E-mails, Vince Foster, Benghazi, White Water …

At least I never said that I’d date my own fuckin’ daughter!

You give me shit cuz Bill likes to cheat on me?

At least he didn’t order his wife from JC Penney

How many wives have you bought through the mail?

Price check. Aisle three. Yugoslavian tail!

For a dude with big hands you can’t keep your ladies

Is that cuz little Don ain’t worked since the ’80s?

You call me crooked, you pathological liar?

You wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you on the underwire

of your man-bra that holds up your man-tits

I have the vee-jay but you is the little bitch

Make America Great Again, “Believe me!” you say?

You lie so damn much I’d sooner trust your toupee

Trump water, Trump planes, Trump steak, Trump college

if bullshit was brains you’d be stinkin’ with knowledge

You ain’t alla that, angry little turd

Another billionaire’s baby born on third

Got a million-dollar loan from ya racist-ass Pops

think you self-made cuz ya name on tower tops

The only thing worse than your lies is the hate

Buildin’ walls, deportin’ folks, that ain’t make you great

That shit is small, like Third World thugs

And pissed off Oompa-Loompas with fake-as-fuck rugs

I admit we’ve had our share of injustice and hate

But in spite of it all, we’re already pretty great

Times is tough but we can beat this slump

Somethin’ this precious too good for you, Chump!

I am available to write battle raps for bar mitzvahs, children’s birthday parties and state senate races as well.

Spit it out, junior

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