Chicken soup for the dictator’s soul

Hitler – Cream of potato (No good reason. It just feels right.)

Pol Pot – Egg drop (Too obvious not to)

Francois Duvalier “Papa Doc” – Gazpacho (it gets hot in Haiti)

Kim Jong Il – Vegetable beef (He was a classic gentleman)

Frederik Willem de Klerk – Turkey veggie w/noodles (A South African favorite)

George W. Bush – Wild mushroom and rice (Enjoys picking through the broth looking for WMD)

Richard M. Nixon – Beef broth (A soothing nectar for a quiet Saturday night or an enduring phlebitis attack)

Mussolini – Minestrone (A terrible soup for a terrible human being)

Ariel Sharon – Matzo ball (Too ironic? Maybe. But for authentic flavor you have to return to the source, and the Gaza Strip has the best matzo ball soup in the world. Everybody knows this.)

Sadat – Vegan corn chowder (They say he was eating this soup when he was assassinated.)

Ghandi – Beef stew (Everybody has a dark side, even the Mahatma.)

Buddha – Tomato basil (Siddhārtha Gautama managed to eliminate his desire for almost everything.)

Abraham Lincoln – New England clam chowder (Nothing gets a man ready for bare-knuckles boxing like clams and heavy cream.)

The wife – French onion (Why did I include my wife on this list? Do we really want to get into this right now?)

Winston Churchill – Czarnina/Duck blood soup (He just struck me as the type to enjoy consuming the blood of watefowl.)

Jimmy Carter – Split pea with ham (He was a peanut farmer. Need I say more?)

Kaiser Wilhelm – Borscht (What else do you serve Germanic royalty?)

Napoleon – White chicken chili (Because I don’t know any French soups.)

Nelson Mandela – Lobster bisque (The wife argued that it’s too decadent for a man of the people but the soup stands.)

Rob Ford of Canada – Butternut squash (He’s hungover so much I figure he can no longer eat solid food.)

Genghis Khan – Broccoli and cheese (An angry soup for an angry warlord)

JFK – Great Northern bean (Figured Jack and I could spend the evening comparing farts.)

Julius Caesar – Manhattan clam chowder

Charles Manson – Italian Wedding (He’s getting married so, it just seemed right. Plus, that soup is a total mess and he’s, well, Manson.)

Stalin – Chicken noodle (Borscht is too obvious and I already gave Italian Wedding to Manson.)