I’m an angry, sarcastic, middle-aged hypochondriac. I post new essays and assorted nonsense—along with a little pandering and the occasional nervous breakdown—as my seven-day-a-week newspaper job allows.
I write on numerous topics but try to avoid politics because it gives me the runs.
Join me and—together—we will rule the galaxy as father and son … or something.
Unauthorized autobiography of full-time smart-ass Benjamin J. Gohs
Born on the back of a donkey (Mother says I wasn’t but I remember it differently) headed to Cheboygan, MI, in 1975, Benjamin J. Gohs has lived in over a dozen Michigan towns and worked in over a dozen fields, starting with his first job as lead tormenter to his five brothers and sister.
When he was quite young, Gohs developed a taste for strangeness and a penchant for minor misadventures.
Before becoming a member of the lame-stream, drive-by, liberal-conservative evil media in 2003, Gohs worked as a dog training attack dummy, dog poop picker-upper, landscaper, babysitter, house painter, cook, blackjack dealer, roulette mucker, truck driver, welder, mechanic, tow truck driver, waiter, vacuum cleaner salesman, telemarketer, car salesman and stay-at-home dad (that last one is code for “unemployed.”)
Despite being devastated that his first poem did not win a school-wide competition in 1985, Gohs continued to jot stories, ideas and rhymes while being an avid reader of Science Fiction, comics, mysteries, horror stories and shirt-rippers … and drawing waaaaay too many pictures of naked women with snakes.
A lifelong scribbler of poems, short stories and essays, Gohs quit his job as the head cook and manager of a family restaurant in Northern Michigan in August 2003 with the goal of becoming a professional writer within a year.
When he finally realized his chances of earning a living as a poet were somewhere between “Ha!” and “Go kill yourself!” he decided to look into news writing.
By December of that year he had landed a freelance gig with the local newspaper—operated at the time by a kilt-wearing, scotch-swilling Mexican gentleman with serious flatulence.
Soon Gohs was writing for three newspapers spanning from Petoskey to Charlevoix to Traverse City–including publication of a civil liberties column in the L.A. Journal–and writing advertising copy on the side for several local businesses.
In May of 2005, Gohs was hired as a full-time reporter for the Charlevoix Courier Newspaper, a subsidiary of the Petoskey News-Review. Gohs’ articles continued to be published in the Courier, News-Review and occasionally in the Gaylord Herald Times (also owned by the News-Review).
It was in 2005 that Gohs wrote his first humor column. When the townspeople did not break down his door with torches, his editor suggested he continue writing columns.
Some readers compared him to Dave Barry—which was pretty cool—and asked for more.
(Some readers compared him to Mussolini, and begged him to stop; they were subsequently crushed under his oppressive boot heel.)
Pretty soon, Gohs was writing columns centered on humor, politics and civil liberties on a nearly weekly basis. In April 2008, Gohs was named Editor of the Charlevoix Courier Newspaper … and that’s when the torches came out.
Over the years, Gohs tallied several awards, presumably for crudest use of the English language and most hate mail received in a single month.
Gohs left the Courier in spring of 2010 to publish a men’s humor magazine and operate the Boyne City Gazette newspaper as co-founder and news editor full-time.
During his tenure as editor of the Boyne City Gazette, Gohs has earned nearly a dozen awards for his news writing, page design, humor and opinion.
(Apparently there are some sick individuals out there and they enjoy judging newspaper contests.)
In February of 2007, Gohs began weekly appearances on Northern Michigan’s most popular AM Radio Talk Show “The Vic McCarty Show.” Each Thursday, between 10 a.m. and Noon, Gohs has brought his signature brand of humor and his biting commentary on social issues to the show.
Gohs and his very, very, very patient wife, a school administrator, elementary teacher and college professor, live in rural Charlevoix County with their three spoiled dogs: Sam, Tolstoy (you can blame the wife for the snooty name) and Maisy.
Gohs and his wife, who have been together 21 years or so, also have two college-age children—finally!